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Posts tagged "today"

When you reach eighteen years old or older, there are those who would tend to ask you life-changing questions. And I tell them abstruse or unconventional answers.

People are often shocked when I offhandedly tell them that I do not want to get married or to have a child. “Most people do not recognize that a spouse is a liability,” I tell them. “And I cannot afford to raise an innocent child in this cruel world. It would be unfair.”

It’s not just unfair. I rather think it would be brutal. Think about the environmental abuse, moral and ethical degradation, political warfare, societal indecency, communal injustice, educational inadequacy, religious corruption, discriminatory and supremacy-induced hatred, and intellectual downgrade we are experiencing and our own children have to face. (WOW! What a nice improvement in human evolution, don’t you think? Nature’s stroke of genius, giving us bigger craniums and brain volumes… What an impressive feat.)

Heaven would be so gracious to me if my son or daughter would be so adept, so decisive and firm, so compassionate, so intelligent, and so flexible and resilient in dealing with all these things. Then again no child or person has such luck, save for a handful of individuals in history who actually left something good for humanity and the Earth. But even these good people are so flawed themselves that it must have taken them great effort to supersede their own imperfections. Most other humans don’t bother.

There are also good things in this world that I want to take into account, but still the list of “evils” are just too long and too prevailing. My own child doesn’t deserve to be born in this godforsaken planet.

And as for a spouse… Fuck that shit. I still have degrees to finish, professions and vocations to engage in, and my parents’ peaceful retirement life to plan. And it would be much easier for me to accomplish all these without someone following me in every step and auditing my finances. 

Just sayin’.

I would rather listen to the 1-hour boring lectures on the mysteries of life from a doddering old granny than watch some shitty “news” program that features Mr. X’s new Botox-ed girlfriend, Ms. Y’s date of her up-coming marriage in some gawdforsaken place, or Mr. Z’s fits of crying on screen just to gain publicity, mass sympathy and (later) a new TV show on the network…

I mean, WHO THE FUCK CARES, MAN?!

Utter non-sense. Our country has a lot of more important problems to publicize, even as we speak, but it seems that producers and directors are so keen on wasting their money and effort for pathetic interviews, and bickering over the sex life of some sexy star.

Give me a break.

CHARLES “CARLOS” CELDRAN
EVEN UNTIL NOW, I am still torn between amusement and approval when this tour guide initiated his DAMASO stunt.
I was personally offended by his protest-move during a Mass in the Manila Cathedral. I may not be a very religious Catholic, but it wouldn’t take a genius to notice that it was very rude, and it showed utmost disrespect to the Catholic rites. It was a frank showcase of improperly displayed insubordination; it was as bad as spitting on the Holy Eucharist. I do not persecute those who are against Catholic priests, but attacking the traditions and rituals of the Church and what they stand for is another story.
BUT
I highly approve his sense of freethought and valiance. I mean, standing up for your beliefs requires huge amount of courage. Mr. Celdran’s revolutionary ideas, activism and opinionated intellect makes him a beacon of enlightment.
-
On a different but related subject, I am currently writing an essay concerning the RH Bill (AGAIN). I support natural contraception, reasonable and impartial views on contemporary issues, equal access to all forms of life sustenance and health promotion, and responsible usage of the freedom of opinion. But I discourage all forms of assault (verbal, physical, etc.) and personal attacks on either side of the battlefield. RH Bill related comments have become irrelevant and ad hominem.
I shall continue my essay later. I am having a gahddamn writer’s block. Hng!

CHARLES “CARLOS” CELDRAN

EVEN UNTIL NOW, I am still torn between amusement and approval when this tour guide initiated his DAMASO stunt.

I was personally offended by his protest-move during a Mass in the Manila Cathedral. I may not be a very religious Catholic, but it wouldn’t take a genius to notice that it was very rude, and it showed utmost disrespect to the Catholic rites. It was a frank showcase of improperly displayed insubordination; it was as bad as spitting on the Holy Eucharist. I do not persecute those who are against Catholic priests, but attacking the traditions and rituals of the Church and what they stand for is another story.

BUT

I highly approve his sense of freethought and valiance. I mean, standing up for your beliefs requires huge amount of courage. Mr. Celdran’s revolutionary ideas, activism and opinionated intellect makes him a beacon of enlightment.

-

On a different but related subject, I am currently writing an essay concerning the RH Bill (AGAIN). I support natural contraception, reasonable and impartial views on contemporary issues, equal access to all forms of life sustenance and health promotion, and responsible usage of the freedom of opinion. But I discourage all forms of assault (verbal, physical, etc.) and personal attacks on either side of the battlefield. RH Bill related comments have become irrelevant and ad hominem.

I shall continue my essay later. I am having a gahddamn writer’s block. Hng!

It was quite a rough day for me today. As if my mind’s not very preoccupied with stressful thoughts as of the moment, I missed the class on my major subject for the second time on purpose (and rightly so, because discussions on laws that govern nursing aren’t my cup of tea) and our Speech teacher was absent. Great. I went to school for nothing. After, I spent few hours with my college friends in a coffee shop, chatted with ‘em and went home. I was expecting a drinking session, but no, we can’t have everything in the world.

It’s a good thing my bestfriend, Kurt, texted me. He was doing his shopping (as always) and decided to come with him. It’s been a long time since we had a bonding session.

My bestfriend and I are different. Very different in fact. He likes fashion, clothes, shoes, Glee and Audrey Hepburn, and he’s also a hopeless romantic. I, on the other hand, am fond of books, reading, nerdy stuff and science, and I do not dress well… And, not to mention, I am generally luckier to “hook up” with people, but no, I do not have Kurt’s notion of true love and happy-ever-after heresy.

But still, we both love humanities (art and mythology, for example) and occult stuff. Since high school, we worship Charmed and all manner of fantasy wickedness we could think of. Our imaginations run wild every time we discuss about Wicca and otherworldly stuff. We are currently planning to make individual novels, with alter-ego selves being the characters of course.

And in a short span of five hours today, we spent our time drinking coffee, window shopping, and talking about nursing, school, our common close friends, former classmates and our failed love-lives. My bestfriend’s presence totally gives me a lift. It’s what you get for seven years of mutual connection.

A bestfriend is another you with a different personality. :)

"Miss Johnson, you’re a nurse aren’t you? D’you know a physician who’d perform abortion for me?"

"Clare, are you sure—?"

"Yes, I’m sure! My life is ruined, Miss Johnson! Don’t you see? I need to get rid of this thing!"

"I don’t think it’s—"

"Please. I’m begging you"

"Clare… Abortion against my religion and personal belief. Giving you advice or direction with your attempt to murder your own child makes me no less of an abortionist myself! An innocent child, Clare!"

"It doesn’t matter! Please! Do you know someone? Tell me, please! I’m desperate…"

And Miss Johnson does know someone…

-

We just had our most interesting session in our Nursing Jurisprudence subject. A series of debates were initiated, concerning three different biomedical issues with shaky moral grounds: in vitro fertilization (natural vs. artificial), placebo therapy without consent (anti-drug dependence vs. veracity), and rejection of physician’s intervention in favor of faith healing (cultural respect vs. assurance to physical health).

Many people would raise their opinions on the said subjects, with both weak and strong premises, with pure logic or sheer emotion, with experience or objective analysis, and with religious conviction or scientific truth. Does the freedom of choice really supersede the value of life when it comes to abortion? How about contraception? About blood transfusion? About plastic surgery?

In debates, they say, “there are no wrong answers”. Only wrong reasoning. Debators tackle and attack, forever babbling about theories, laws, principles and ideas that would somehow discredit their respective opposing side. Debates, they say, are designed to convince. But in any case, anyone from either the affirmative or the negative, whose beliefs and intellect in firm and founded, will never be convinced of the views of the opposition.

The battle of the moralities and legalities concerning biomedical issues are never ending. The religious groups, the government, the scientific agencies, the political and business factions, the cultural castes, and the individuals that comprise humanity are ever diverse. And in this diversity will pros and cons sprout unendingly. The debate never ends. Even inside our heads.

Still, according to our Nursing Jurisprudence professor, the beliefs and decisions a nurse (or anyone) holds boil down to herself in the end. Will she opt for the whims of technology and individual choice? Or will she pay heed to her own conscience and judgment?

-

Clare is waiting.

© jandennarriba 2010

Jesus Freak: A self-professed Christian who labors under the mistaken impression that Christians are persecuted in this country, and that he or she is commonly persecuted for his or her beliefs. These people usually attempt to convert everyone they know or meet to their own denomination of “born again” Christianity, thereby alienating a number of non-Christians as well as Christians of denominations not of their own, then attribute their subsequent shunning by society to a fictitious, widespread anti-Christian mania. (Urban Dictionary)

Well, they have infested Facebook. And as much as I want to be open-minded and complacent of their religious rants, I can’t help but experience a mixture of annoyance, pity and haughtiness towards them. I have nothing against people who profess their faith proudly (because I do too), but there comes a point when these religious fanatics (e.g., Jesus Freaks) often step a toe out of line, beyond the respectable boundaries of other people’s morale, without any reasonable grounds. Their talks about God and the Bible are very Medieval: narrow-minded, too fundamental, illogical, unphilosophical, stagnant, biased, and irritating to hear. Their best weapons are bickering, picketing and black propaganda, which are, to the sane mind, unwarranted.

And what’s worse is that they seem to imply that they’re the most knowledgable and blessed creatures of the Earth. Their existence is really uncalled for, and they’re getting to my nerves. Grrrr…

It’s funny how you can pick up insightful ideas and realizations from complete strangers. Having or overhearing a small talk from your seatmate in the bus, or your fellow customer in a coffee shop, or your co-worker from an elevator is seemingly nothing more than something that would make time pass faster.

From these small talks from strangers, you can sometimes discover strange philosophies of human existence, baffling theories about love, the nature of marriage and friendship, and even the wisdom of death and suffering. And what’s more is that these deep talks usually come from ordinary people: from the simplest janitor to the most gruffy-looking student. 

Sometimes the most precious jewels can be found in unlikely places.

The current issues (such as the RH Bill, Divorce Bill, and the alleged PCSO bribery) that bridle the Philippines into moral and political chaos has put the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines to pressure and into a bad light yet again. It seems that the people’s favorite hobby nowadays is Catholic bashing and labeling more than 400,000 clergymen around the world as senile hypocrites, filthy pedophiles, and arrogant old men, even by the Catholics themselves. 

It truly saddens me that the fathers of my religion are persecuted by half truths and logically fallacious allegations, especially ad hominem statements. But it is assuring that there are still many people who support our priests despite recent scandals and verbal attacks.

Why am I supporting them in their “meddling” with national affairs?

  1. Because they are intellectuals and they are not ordained unless they have achieved considerable amount of academic study. Do you really think that they would express opposition or support to a certain issue without thinking through thoroughly and reasonably? that their sole basis for their opinions are the dogmas and teachings of our Church? that they simply choose to view the religious perspective of everything? Think again. Unlike the priests of the past, our clergy is much more dynamic, educated, and outspoken.
  2. Because they are Filipinos. The separation of religion and the State is balderdash, an illusion, just a futile attempt to differentiate the secular and the sectarian. People tend to miss the obvious: you can choose to be part of a religious sector without affecting your identity as a member of the State, just as much as the Catholic men’s Ordination as priests does not remove their identity as Filipinos. Thus, it is a clergyman’s right to express opinions on national affairs. Being priests does not make them less Filipino or their voices less significant.

Yes, there are many bloody and scandalous portions of our Church history that the Catholic Church is not proud of. Yes, priests as a collective are imperfect; they are human, not gods. Yes, the present world is a place more open to liberal ideas, but that does not mean that the conservative, dogmatic, and traditional teachings are of no value. We are so much eager to advance and to adapt to modern "principles of living" that we tend to forget the time-tested philosophies of our Church fathers. 

I am not persuading you to oppose RH Bill or Divorce Bill, nor I am dissuading you to hate priests from the recently discovered PCSO bribery scandal (If it is proved that they are guilty, those priests should be punished accordingly). I am simply pointing out that our Catholic Church leaders do not deserve the shameful accusations they are facing right now; there are other more sinister people who should merit such persecution. There are anti-Catholic people who call themselves “Freethinkers” who do not even possess even an inkling of what a Freethinker should be: instead of relying on reason, philosophical skepticism, and inquisitiveness, these fake “Freethinking” individuals use black propaganda, poisoning the well, and ad hominem attacks to take advantage on the Church’s current, shaky position. Shame on you. 

Let us pray for and support our Church fathers. We simply cannot afford to have them take all these attacks. The Church must remain strong against all it adversaries; if not, it’s Salem Witch Trials and the Inquisition all over again, only this time it’s we Catholics who are to be burned in the flames of sedition, modern immorality, and slander.

© jandennarriba 2011

  • I finally went “serious” about attending classes on time.
  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows! To watch the premiere or not to watch the premiere… If I’ll do the former, I could actually feel the euphoria inside the theater (it’s good feeling to be with fans); but the line is long, and the ticket price is sky-high (3D). But I do the latter, the ticket price might go downhill and I might be able to watch the whole thing alone again and again.
  • I have this sporadic, pestilential headache all day.
  • I have a meeting later. Jeez, I was looking forward to come home early.

Hello, Tumblr. :)

  • Been out of Tumblr for a day.
  • I met an amazing person last night. Our encounter was really intense, inexplicable and interesting. Hahaha. (Did you catch my drift?) It’s weird, finding a great someone, yet romance isn’t your top priority yet. Hmmm. Anyway, we’ll just enjoy each other’s company while it lasts. <3
  • Ever since the explosion of the RH-Bill issue, there has been too much Anti-Catholic aura in Tumblr. There are many hateful, discrediting and unneccesary verbal attacks on the Catholic Church, and what’s more disturbing is that these anti-Catholic people BARELY understand the Catholic religion and the foundations of her teachings and dogmas. Before you could retort on my statements, let me tell you that I am not taking sides. Or at least not firmly. I am a Catholic, but not a conformist or a fanatic; I disagree with certain parts of the Bill and at the same time recognize its beneficial aims as a whole. BUT I DON’T GO AROUND SHOUTING IN PUBLIC ABOUT “EXCOMMUNICATION”, “ABORTION”, OR “PEDOPHILE PRIESTS” FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. The intellectual value on discussing nationalistic issues has been abolished. Instead, people on both sides are bashing at one another with ad hominem, well-poisoning, genetically fallacious statements. It’s driving me mad. Anyway, liberty of speech may be a right, but sometimes humans could not recognize the difference between an intellectual opinion and a pointless assailing.
  • I have another 2pm-10pm-shift duty in the male medical ward. Not my favorite chore, really.
  • WRITER’S BLOCK: Y U NO LEAVE ME?!!!

Good morning, chums.

But not in the way you think.

Far be it for any of our higher powers to care at all, our health care system is crumbling at our country’s feet. The accessible, affordable, accountable, standardized, quality health care that every Filipino deserves seems to be the least of the government’s concerns. Let’s face it: infrastructure, short-term distribution of relief goods (in front of camera men), and incessant and unjustified extermination of the so-called “rebels” are much more appealing to the masses rather than curing the more pressing concerns like maternal and fetal deaths, improvement of public hospitals and demand for wage-increase among health care workers, like nurses.

There is one obvious solution to this problem—nursing education. Since nurses are trained to provide holistic care to their patients, it is then sensible to send a whole lot of them in schools. But despite the constant population of people who require a wide range of health care, it is rather a shock (and an injustice, mind you) that our country “produces 200,000 Nursing graduates per year while there are only 2,500 available nursing jobs awaits them.” (DOLE) An outrageous proportion of nurses and patients also exists; instead of the ideal 1-nurse-to-4-patients standard, there are ratios which are 1:20 to (unbelievably) 1:100, depending on what godforsaken, public hospital you’d choose to die in.

What’s even more surprising is the fact that there are more than 180,000 registered nurses today in the Philippines, waiting for any employer to seek for their services. Unfortunately, even if the emergency rooms are cramped with bleeding and taken-for-granted victims of vehicular accidents, even if the wards are becoming nesting grounds of both pathogens and malpracticing health care workers, even if misallocation of health care goods and services persists, and even if there are many cases of fatal performances of negligence in the OR’s and DR’s nationwide, the Philippine government’s only good move so far is… well, I don’t really know. And if ever there is a good move, it’s not doing much good anyway in the current and doubtfully progressing state of our current health care delivery system.

Right at this very moment, hundreds of unattended people die in hemorrhage, shock, sepsis and trauma. Isn’t it ironic that, while many needy patients are sitting ducks in front of Death’s cloak, many nurses are wasting four years of study by working as call center agents, being ESL/EFL teachers or remaining unemployed commoners? that physicians study nursing just to join the registered, overworked and underpaid nurses for the mass exodus abroad? that in spite of the unlimited demand for health care, countless patients are currently maltreated, snubbed and rejected in hospitals? and that notwithstanding the overproduction of nursing graduates, there are actually nurses who are so incompetent that they can’t even differentiate Metoprolol from Metronidazole? (The last statement is a satirical hyperbole, but you get the idea.)

This complex and seemingly unsolvable problem in the Philippine health care setting may be attributed to the despicable ineptitude displayed in the fields of nursing education, profession, economics and administration—to name but few. Whatever the root cause is, it is obvious that whenever monetary values come into the picture, things get a bit too complicated for our own liking. Low wages, scarcity of nurses and health care practitioners in remote regions, high school fees in nursing institutions, and the indirect proportion of job vacancies and supply of registered nurses, among others, are examples of the complications brought about when one puts a price tag on something that shouldn’t be monetize in the first place: health care or nursing care, our basic need.

Health is indeed wealth since the preservation and promotion of health is every Filipino’s right. However this cliche seems to be contorted today. Health is wealth. Health is money. Money is limited. Therefore… How dismal. And the surplus of jobless nurses gives a spark of false hope to many of the ailing patients. A nurse is a human too, after all, and how could she take care of others when her own needs aren’t met in the first place?

© jandennarriba 2011

(This essay is the initial draft of my editorial for our college paper. It’s too long, I know. Haha. But I like writing lengthy essays. I hope my associate editor won’t kill me. Haha.)

Have you ever experienced walking in a corridor in the mall or in the school, humming to yourself, thinking about mundane things, minding your own business, etc. in a day so seemingly ordinary that you don’t expect anything spectacular to happen? And then suddenly this hot guy/gal bumps into you, and your eyes met, and, three months later, he/she became your this-is-the-one lover come true?

Did you, at least once, experience this kind of romantic, fantastical occurrence?

Well, I didn’t. And I don’t expect I will. I mean, who are you kidding about the love-at-first-sight baloney. Hahaha. As far as I’m concerned, such kind of romance is far too, well, impossible to happen in this corrupted generation. Gone are the days when the first kiss was an important rite of passage; when marriage was a sacred, lifetime vow (and not a pathetic contract witnessed by an indifferent mayor); when love was pure, passionate, and a mixture of sincerity and chastity. Ah. Those good old days…

Good old days… well, that’s exactly the point.

Still, we can’t desire what we can’t have, can we? At the height of technology, humans’ ability to express sincerity and intimacy became limited, tainted, and, sometimes, pretentious. Sex became as ordinary as eating breakfast. No spark. No truancy of vileness. Just pure animalistic urge to express the carnal desire.

Call me old-fashioned, but if you tell me that romantic relationships aren’t such a big deal, then tell that also to broken families, broken-hearted-turned-suicidal youths, victims of abuse and polygamous scandals, and children who can’t even define love emotionally, at the very least.

Today, that girl/guy you bump into some corridor would just call you a “careless asshole.” Oh well, so much for the lover’s dream come true, eh?

© jandennarriba 2010

So I’ve been busy for the past three to four days. And what made my adrenaline rush through my system all this time?

  1. Beach escapade with my college barkada (with tons of booze and cancer sticks) and Skin Diving with the coral reefs, fishes and sea turtles (the only fun thing so far this vacation).
  2. Nursing duty at the Emergency Room for four days (third time today, last day tomorrow). Yeah, so much for December break. But desperate student nurses call for desperate times to acquire those coveted hospital cases. I even have DR and OR duties between Christmas and New Year. Imagine all the possible cases: unexpected births, car and explosive-related accidents, stab wounds, gun shots, cardiac arrests and stroke (Christmas feasts are bad for the health apparently), etc. Now I have to face yet another 2pm-10pm duty. Oh bother.

And there’s this:

NEW FOLLOWERS! YEAH! :)

I’ll get back to you guys soon. I might like some of your blogs, but checking them out right now would be a bad idea. I have paperwork, case forms and PRC forms to finish, so there. I have to type this post within ten minutes because my duty mate is practically flogging my ass to hurry up with typing the forms.

Working at Christmas break. Oh, the irony.

Good morning, chums. :)

Sunday is my favorite day of the week, because I get to make grocery, clean my room, go to Mass and do nothing else productive for the rest of the day… Sure as hell. Sometimes, Sundays are so boring that I could almost hear my neurons sending electrical impulses inside my cranium. Or maybe I’m just congenitally psychopathic, I don’t know.

I will be gone for three days. We’re having an out-town-duty. I just packed my stroller. It took me more than an hour’s worth of sweaty work to sort out it out. I just hate packing. My obsession-compulsion tends to override my relatively sane mind. Should I bring this? Should I bring that? Just in case this. Just in case that. I’ll never know if I will be needing this. Who are we to say that I won’t be needing that?… I even included my Tarot cards on the list to bring.

Yeeeaaah. I’m congenitally psychopathic.

There is no such thing as Kapamilya, Kapuso, Ka-Q or Kabarkada anymore. We should never overestimate the “human sentiments for the greater good” shit that big companies showcase in front of the world. Ever since the Industrial Revolution, it has been always about MONEY. Charity and true service barely exist in today’s world.

Owners of big companies such as ABS-CBN are like vampires: they suck the hell out of lesser mortals right under people’s noses.